March 01, 2019
In life, we come across a difficult people, manipulative, negative and toxic one. As humans, we often focus on those who are negative or toxic leaving it difficult to appreciate those who are positive and healthy. Seeking out individuals with healthy, positive traits, however, may naturally help us to stay clear (or at least clearer) of those who are toxic, who zap our energy or who make us feel badly. Further, the more we can surround ourselves with those who are positive and healthy, the more we may model those positive behaviors.
If you really think about it, once in awhile you come across a person who knocks you off your socks… legitimately — maybe they have the best outlook on life, maybe they are really well-off but you would never know it, maybe they make you feel special. There is a good chance that many of these people possess some of that desirable traits, if not all of the traits mentioned below that seem to be the rarest to find in others.
No one is free of flaws and quirks. But there are twelve desirable traits in human beings and worth adopting that attract the right people and circumstances into one’s life. One could say that these are the character traits of highly successful people.
The true definition of integrity comes from the Latin word integritas, which means “whole” or “intact”. It encumbers all the traits that make a truly “good” person, such as honesty, being incorruptible, straight and morally upright.
A person with integrity won’t lie, will keep their word and won’t screw you over. They won’t go behind your back, bad mouth you, cheat on you, and they adhere to a code of ethics that may make them predictable, but safe to the heart and one’s sanity. No unpleasant surprises come from someone with a high sense of integrity. They follow a code of ethics that tends to be, as the word suggests incorruptible, and they adhere to principles of common decency. C.S. Lewis once said, “Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.”
In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.
Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty… it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular… it means loving people for who they really are… deep down… and not for what they appear to be.
So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.
Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.
Humility is not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less. We can all afford to say less about ourselves and do more for others.
Kindness protects you from all kinds of heart-aches. Kindness is like integrity. A person who possess kindness will usually keep your heart safe and your best interests in mind. Their willingness to help others also translates to someone who knows how to put another’s needs ahead of their own when needed. A kind person carries a light, and that light tends to attract other “good” people too.
7. Sense of Humor
Life has ups and downs. There will be good times, bad times, and easy times. Everything is easier if one keeps a sense of humor, or at least surrounds oneself with those who have one. As the old saying goes… laughter is the best medicine and an instant vacation as well.
8. Emotionally Open
No one wants to be with someone who is so closed off that they can’t show the most “normal” emotions. How would someone who has a hard times feeling, or showing feelings relate to you? There is a difference between someone who is so closed off that they just look at you blankly, or worse, scold you or put you down when you’re feeling sad or disappointed, and then there are those who break down as soon as someone looks at them the wrong way. Being able to share one’s heart doesn’t mean that one has to be a weakling or whiner. Someone who can’t feel is usually damaged goods, and lack of depth in emotional matters usually translate into lack of depth in other matters.
A person without self-confidence / self-esteem spells disaster, because they will fail on numerous other “must-haves.” They are usually driven by self-preservation, and will do almost anything to overcome their feelings of inadequacy. This can make them distrusting and possibly even make them into stalkers. Which, in returns, almost always ensures dishonesty, a closed-heart / inability to truly feel and experience love and joy, a lack of integrity and definitely no courage. They’re usually a bucket with a huge hole in the bottom. No matter how much love and care one will pour into them, it will never be enough to make them feel safe, loved or good enough. After all, it’s impossible to love and care for someone who doesn’t love and care for themselves.
One of the worst people to have in one’s life is a miser. Those who constantly complain about the money they don’t have, especially while spending it on things that doesn’t serve them, are not only annoying, but also no fun to have around. The opposite of generous is selfish, and who wants to be with a selfish person? Being miserly also tends to show individuals who are very preoccupied with material, like superficial things. Combine that with the constant complaint about not having enough, and you’ll get a good picture of how life with someone who can’t be generous looks like.
Let’s face it. Who wants to be with a coward? Someone who can’t and won’t stand up for their own beliefs will definitely not stand up for you or anyone else. No courage usually also means no principles, which will make you expendable for the simple reason that a coward will only do the least effort required and will tug tail and run when true work is required.
Self-awareness is the fine middle ground of truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses without being either completely weak and self-loathing. Self-awareness allows us to know when we are way off our rocker. It allows us to see when we are wrong / screwed up and need to possibly adjust or change certain behaviors and patterns. Self-awareness allows us to look in the mirror and see who we really are; not who we think we are or hoped we were. People without self-awareness cannot grow, because they will never learn from past mistakes. They are literally blind, stumbling after what looks and sounds the most appealing. Without self-awareness there is no truth, just illusion; and a perpetual cycle of trying to find what they think will make them happy. If you don’t know who you are, you won’t know what makes you happy. The key to finding one’s own happiness is to be the things that you require and wish for in another.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”
Whatever is true,
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable,
if anything is excellent
Keep the good going!